The Blackout! When I got Lost and had to escape the Darkness

     I have no idea what I am looking at! I'm staring into the darkness and staring down a creature that may or may not be there. My eyes have not caught it yet but there is something inside me that can just feel it. I felt it looking at me, just staring me down. Motionless with his eyes staring into my soul. I break my own stare and start to look down, somehow I am just now realizing that I haven't moved, no i'm unable to move. Scared stiff, every part of my body trapped in its current position. However my mind is running in circles at lightning speed. No thoughts or why, it is just taking off aimlessly.

     I shift my sights back to the shadows, trying to catch a glimpse of the creature before me. But nothing! Nothing is there. Why am I locked in this way? What is wrong with me? I retreat into my own mind and try to find my way through the rough dark terrain. Every step I take the world seems to rock and shift. The walls around me move and disappear. Even the ground shakes and cracks. If i'm not careful a chunk of it might just break off and disappear. The winds blow in a strange pattern, quick wisps like sand storms just taking everything with them.

     I take a deep breath and try to get ahold of myself and calm my mind. The storm slowed down for a moment and I see a speck of light. Is this really the craziness I put my mind though? Is this really all in my head? and for what? What happened that triggered this downward spiral deeper down the rabbit hole? I wrap my brain trying to think back and trying to gain my composure, but I just seem to get more lost.

     The shadows! This all started with the shadows. The darkness that seemed to surround me and the feeling of something hiding, waiting for me to let my guard down. A creature ready to destroy my soul and take over my mind.

     I take another deep breath and try to clear my mind. All the clutter that is bouncing around I let go of and try to give myself a clean canvas. I even feel myself start to move, letting go of more clutter. My mind begins to clear even more. I start moving and the action actually helps me to think a little more clearly and suddenly a bright light start to shine over the darkness. The sun has risen into this valley of shadows and I can see everything. there are no more shadows anywhere.

     A little confused but I start to think back. Trying to remember any kind of trigger point that could have happened before the blackout.

THAT'S IT!

     Suddenly the idea and time comes into my mind, almost clear as day. I was working on my project and it wasn't turning out as well as I had hoped. I was having fun but as I shamed the progress I didn't get any thoughts of recognition. the silence started to make me self concious and I began to doubt myself. I didn't mean to, it just happened and I falled further down the rabbit hole. That's when it all started, the creature in the shadows was born in my own personal fear. He then turned my world black and blinded me from the truth as I gave him more strength and attention. He put me into a mental trap that was tough to escape from. But I have survived and I have come out the other side stronger. I am here creating for me. My life is  mine to choose how to live and I should not let the thoughts or actions of others affect my dreams and passions.

Be you, don't let the thoughts or actions of others drive you off your path of your dreams and passions. Create because YOU want to and because YOU enjoy it! and just HAVE FUN with it!


Thank you for reading and leave a comment letting me know what you think and if you have any questions.

If you are interested in hearing more inspiration subscribe to my YouTube. Also be sure to look at my new series the Art of Creation where i have videos on how to sculpt and create characters as well as let yourself go and enjoy the process. For an in depth tutorials check out my Patreon page here.

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 www.alter-ego-dezines.com

Get lost in your True Imagination

 

     True imagination and the world of fantasy lies just behind the eyes of a child. In a special place that has been untouched by the ways of the world and the society that surrounds us. They don't have anything holding them back. No filters, they just say what's on their mind and come up with the most outrageous stories you have ever heard.

     As we get older we start getting rules imprinted into our minds. We are told how to hold a pencil, how to color inside the lines, how art should look or the right techniques to use. Little by little true creativity and imagination is chipped away and drilled out of us.

    Dig back into that childlike wonder forget about the way you should or are suppose to do and create without a specific agenda. Let your subconscious take over and have fun in every moment.

Thank you for reading and please leave a comment letting me know what you think. Also please let me know what you are struggling with.

If you are interested in hearing more inspiration subscribe to my YouTube. Also be sure to look at my new series the Art of Creation where I have videos on how to sculpt and create characters as well as how to let yourself go and enjoy the process. Art of Creation is also sponsoring my Little Heroes Project!

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 www.alter-ego-dezines.com

What happens if you DON'T take the Chance!

Are You afraid to put yourself out there or to ask?
Are you afraid to share your work?

Think about the people you are taking your impact away from!
Think about the possibilities that are being crushed because you were afraid!

For ME,

What if I never reached out to Mayse's family?
What if I never made the effort to visit when she was in the hospital?

I have been on this project for about 6 - 7 months now and I have made an impact on 4 families. I started off rough and made some mistakes or maybe just figuring the plan out. The current legs of the project were created in the last 3 months that has truly connected with those 4 families. And I keep thinking that this is only the beginning.

I am so thankful that I stepped up and reached out and I am going to continue to reach out to as many people as I can.

Don't be afraid to ask for help or opinions!
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there!
Don't be afraid to share your genius with the world!


Thank you for reading, please let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment or filling out this short survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KD7CBHJ

If you are interested in hearing more inspiration subscribe to my YouTube. Also be sure to look at my new series the Art of Creation where i have videos on how to sculpt and create characters as well as let yourself go and enjoy the process. For an in depth tutorials check out my Patreon page here.

 For more updates please like my Facebook page and sign up for email newsletters here

 www.alter-ego-dezines.com

Professor X is SCREAMING at me Again!!!

     Oh my god, these voices are coming after me again! They keep yelling at me! Screaming inside my mind at all of my thoughts! Trying to tear me down.

     Professor X has become very angry and with his powers focused in on me I feel doomed. In a horrible position with a powerless feeling. A war of monsters has decided to adopt my brain as a battlefield for their new fight. Being beaten and trampled on as my own thoughts and ideas run in circles trying to find a way out, but every exit has been blocked.

What do i do? 

Can i find a way to stand up against this attack? 

I must fight back, but how?

     There it is! I have found it! My own little Magneto helmet. Now i have finally discovered my own little secret weapon that works for me. I stare the Professor in the eyes as i use all my strength and urge to pick up my headphones. Without blinking and keeping my eyes locked on his I slide them on.

Wow its amazing! The voices begin to disappear, like a wall wiping them away as i put them on.

Now I'm Free!

     Of course the tunes i put on also play a big role, but just the act of and feeling of the headphones does it for me. I have to use the big over the ear ones, but I love them. Putting them on feels like i am cutting out the entire world. I'm all alone in my own little world, free to move about as i please. No voices screaming at me and no distractions. My own little slice of heaven formed into a dream in a peaceful place all my own.

This is now my time. My time to execute my craft and dive into my passions.

Whats holding you back? 

What are your solutions for fighting back?

Thank you for reading and please leave a comment below letting me know your thoughts. Also please share this with anyone who is fighting their own battles. Every one of us is facing that being in the mirror and struggling to stay ahead of the game and staying on track with our dreams.

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 www.alter-ego-dezines.com

Follow your Dreams

What is your Passion?

Are you pursuing it?

Why do you do it? or Why are you not doing it?

Is it something that drives you or fulfills you?

Here is my thoughts on mine. Take a look and push yourself to enjoy every moment! Everyone is given a gift and put here to really be someone. Always remember that.

Is my craft fulfilling to me?

yes i believe it is.
I get to create my own characters.
I get to share my expressions through my work.
I get to help and inspire others and i get to watch them light up.
I get to witness the miracle of that sparkle that waves across the faces of others. A light that captures the true beauty on their face that is very rarely seen. That true beauty beneath the skin, the hidden tucked away person that rarely comes to the surface.
I get to create a story that will inspire someone else's personal story.

I have been given a gift and i am giving myself permission to share it with the world around me. 

Please leave a comment below and let me know where your dreams and passions are taking you.


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Having the Chance to mentor a lost soul.

     Recently i feel i have been blessed to see a transformation that has touched me. Personally i feel i have always been that person that is willing to help out if possible. Especially when it is in my field of interest. Through my course of learning up to this point i have been fortunate for the opportunities to pick up tips from great people and artists around me. For this reason i have always been open and willing to share the tips and techniques i have acquired.

     I have had some artists tell me thanks! This worked for me or saved my piece! this helped me out so much! These responses always inspire me to keep sharing but mentoring someone and seeing a full transformation  that has only just begun is very new to me. Something that i can honestly look at and personally be inspired by. A close friend has been able to confide in me and made some major changes in her own life to better herself. Coming from a dark place and feeling the walls closing in to finding that 1 candle that was still lit to help guide her through the shadows. Realizing that her life is worth something to her and would be a wast to end it. Pushing forward i was able to help her re discover her passions. Passions for art, creativity, and a new material for self expression in sculpting.

    It all started as something fun. An interesting way to create some new characters and creatures. It started out with her favorite monsters until she was able to create her own designs. There was a little resistance and struggle at first, but diving into her emotions and using her life as a driving force she continued. She was able to take her hurts and struggles and translating them in clay became therapeutic for her. A way to wind down and get things off her chest.

     Now as she continues to grow i have taken a look at where she has come from compare to today and i cant help but be inspired. Not only is it gratifying to know that i was able to be a part of this, but seeing her strength she is able to contain in such a small being has pushed me to do better and be the best that i can be.

     I have witness and very pretty rose bud struggling to stand straight in the dirt, start to spread her roots and begin to blossom. A flower truly on her path to a full blossom. I will continue to be there to keep you on track, push you in the right direction and make sure you don't go off track or start to wilt.

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Don't be discouraged by your art

    Don't worry if you think your art isn't good enough

IT IS

    Its a sign that you are critiquing your own work and realizing you can do better.

     Remember when you were a kid and you thought every scribble was amazing and you would hang it on the fridge. When i was younger i thought i was awesome and could draw anything.

Its when you think its perfect and cant get any better that you should worry.

    Even the best artists look at their finished work and see something they could have done better. Now they don't stress over it or put themselves down, they strive to do better in their next piece. The use each one as a learning tool and pick up new techniques and knowledge with every piece of work they complete.

You do need to get started though.

 Sitting around and worrying or thinking wont change your results. Remember that it is through some of these mistakes or failures that you learn and grow.

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